Had I Known

I am hoping "Blogging" will be a therapeutic outlet, for me, a soon-to-be stay at home mom.  Had I known this pregnancy was going to turn in trouble I would have started the therapeutic work earlier.  Let's catch every one up.  Daddy and I are on our third pregnancy.  We already have two happy, healthy, crazy haired girls.  They are best friends and rivals all in the same hour.  They keep us on our toes and push our buttons constantly, none-the-less, they are OURS thru and thru.  The decision to have a third baby was a quick one.  We were both pushing our mid-thirties and knew we had to act fast.  We couldn't convience ourselves that we would be satisified with the two girls and give up our dream for a boy.  So during the summer of 2010 we pressed on for a third.  And it happened.  Mommy was sick at the beginning, then bled for a while with a placenta in the wrong spot, and now, a diagnosis of a birth defect.  We were estatic with the news of a boy.  We thought we were destined for three girls!  And there we were thinking about car nurserys and blue clothes.  Mommy was more than happy to rid the babys room of any pink items.  Then at week 33 mommy had an ultrasound done that showed a break in the baby's upper lip.  Mommy knew instantly there was a problem.  The next few days were a whirlwind of information, tears, and changes in plans.  Ultimately, Daddy and Mommy ended up at the University of Michigan talking with doctors about birthing plans and after birth events.  We learned Baby Tyler will have two breaks in his upper lip, unknown extent of cleft palate, and possibly a six toe on the left foot.  I am thinking of toe thing was just thrown in for shits and giggles.  We have been assured that he shows no other measurements or signs of trouble.  We have changed our birthing plan to include the closeness of an NICU, just in case.  Mommy is getting used to the idea of delivering in a different hospital and ultimately staying home until Tyler no longer needs her exclusively.  These are ideas I never thought I would have to endure, as I love being a mother, but also very much love my job as an RN at our local hospital.  I will be continueing my nursing career, but within the four walls of my own home.  We have four and a half (not five!) weeks left to continue the healing from the birth news.  Everyday is getting better, and I am sure I will revisit some of these "Mommy" feelings when Tyler is born.  For now, I sit back, feel him kick everyfew minutes, and constantly remind myself we will all get thru this.  And be stronger for it in the long run.......... who knows,, maybe this blog will be not only therapeutic for Mommy but a best seller someday!